6Oct24 Bad Job Bingo

In this issue:

• Get Hired

  • Green Means Go

  • Eh, It’s Probably Fine

  • Tread Carefully

  • BINGO

  • Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Hi friends! Sorry to have missed Bad Job Bingo last week. ElevateCX Denver was absolutely wonderful, but I peopled hard and caught myself a cold (which I’m still trying to get over, annoyingly), so I needed some downtime.

I’ve got a light issue for you this week — between this bug and Matt Mullenweg terrorizing the WordPress community, I haven’t had a ton of time and energy to spare. Hopefully I’ll be back to fighting form next week!

Oh: we passed 350 jobs rated in Bad Job Bingo this issue. 🎉 

Get Hired

I play Bad Job Bingo with every job listing that appears in the Roundup and categorize them according to how well (or poorly, if I hit Bingo) they do in the game.

However, please remember that a job appearing in a positive category isn’t an endorsement of any role or company, and a job appearing in a negative category doesn't mean I think you shouldn't apply if it works for you. Bad Job Bingo is simply an effort to give you a shortcut to finding roles that may match your needs and values.

These and past contestants can be found at Support Human Jobs.

Green Means Go

No flags, or green flags only! A true unicorn.

• None this week.

Eh, It’s Probably Fine

A few flags popped up, but no serious ones.

• Staff Customer Support Team Manager ($114k-$143k) at GE Vernova (Onsite or Remote in US-Foxborough, MA; Ontario, CAN)

  • Okay, this one gets extra points for being an energy company working on some cool alternative energy solutions, including wind turbines! I love wind turbines.

  • Careers page is standard corporate fare, but more bonus points for embedding what appears to be a live widget showing GE Vernova's ratings on Glassdoor.

  • Also very corporate job description, but the upside of that is that these kinds of JDs tend to be very clear about duties and responsibilities, and this one is no exception.

  • For roles in companies like these, those upsides for some can be downsides for others: they're usually really old-school working environments that tend to favor stability over rapid innovation. You skip a lot of the startup bullshit, but obviously, Business Granddaddies come with their own kind of bullshit.

  • I guess what I'm saying is, I'm putting this in Eh, It's Probably Fine, but mileage may vary more on this one than usual since I don't feature a lot of jobs from established megacorporations in Bad Job Bingo.

• Senior Customer Success Manager ($150k-$180k) at BetterCloud (Remote US)

  • Same concerns as with the Customer Success Manager role. Although, aside from the higher experience requirement, it's not at all clear what makes this role more senior than the other Success role. It's not that worrisome, but I'd ask about it in interviews.

• Customer Success Manager ($100k-$125k) at BetterCloud (Remote US)

  • Careers page is great (with a solid page devoted to their DEI efforts/ERGs), and the recruitment video is brilliant. The first twoish minutes introduce the company and its values, and the rest is basically BetterCloud employees complimenting their co-workers for embodying specific values. It's just very savvy to the kinds of things candidates are looking for when they're researching potential companies. A+ from me on that.

  • Expert at juggling competing demands and managing limited time — This is not a...great sign of the Success team's health.

  • Hardworking, driven, self-motivated and solutions oriented — So this role isn't for candidates who'd describe themselves as sloth-like ditherers fond of throwing up impediments? Phew, really dodged a bullet by making that clear.

  • I'd ask about those bits above, but otherwise I actually think this job description is pretty straightforward. I think it's a decent Eh, It's Probably Fine.

Tread Carefully

Didn’t quite hit bingo, but there were several yellow flags or more than one red flag.

• Global Head of Partner Support, Google Cloud ($202k-$287k) at Google (Onsite US-Addison, Austin, TX; Atlanta, GA; Boulder, CO; Chicago, IL; Miami, FL)

  • Ability to influence without direct authority and drive change at all levels within an organization and experience leading initiatives involving multiple stakeholders and teams. — Because god forbid Support have any real authority.

  • Drive the Business outcome and transformation of the Global Partner Support Function - decrease cost (deflection of cases, vendor management, system automation), User Satisfaction/Performance (Accountable SLAs, Streamlined/simplified Processes, Speed, Service response vs case management) — Decrease cost and user satisfaction? I mean, that checks out – decrease one and you're likely to see a decline in the other.

  • Deliver Executive Report includes Cost, Productivity and Impact report. — This doesn't make sense. Who wrote this job description?

  • This whole JD is a sloppy mess, but hey, at least the pay's good?

• Head of Technical Support (“Competitive” comp not given) at Nooks (Remote US)

  • Nooks' Careers page is the kind of careers page I would expect from a sales tool. Not knocking it, exactly, but it's flash without a lot of substance (like information on benefits, for instance).

  • Their values are pretty grounded, although I think the "Be a good person" value perhaps isn't entirely well-conceived: "Good things happen to good people" is the sort of empty philosophical statement that doesn't serve anyone, particularly a company trying to attract talent. If they treat you poorly, is it because you weren't a good person? Not exactly the kind of question you want to invite, you know what I'm saying?

  • This role is for someone who thrives in a fast-paced environment with a rapidly changing product. — "Fast-paced environment" has truly lost all meaning for me at this point.

  • There's a lot of emphasis on technical skills, but aside from a mention of API troubleshooting and general knowledge of phones and networking, it's not really clear what technologies the Support team needs to be familiar with. It could be that they're pretty open-minded regarding the tech background candidates should have, but not being explicit about this makes it harder for candidates to match their experience with the right roles in a job search. If I were the hiring manager, I'd want to make it as easy as possible for candidates to determine if this role would be a good fit for their abilities.

  • Also, the tech support hours strike me as odd and weirdly inflexible. What about the product requires such a rigid schedule? Are their customers primarily in a specific time zone?

  • We offer competitive compensation because we want to hire the best people and reward them for their contributions to our mission. We pay all employees competitively relative to the market. On top of this, we offer equity, generous perks, and comprehensive benefits. — Friends. You're in sales. You know pretty words like "competitive," "generous," and "comprehensive" mean nothing unless there's data to back them up. What are the numbers? Tell me the numbers!

  • Overall, this is actually a fairly well-crafted job description, and if it had salary transparency, it would probably be in Eh, It's Probably Fine with a recommendation to follow up on the issues above during interviews. Alas, there's no salary in sight, and so into Tread Carefully it goes.

• Senior Customer Service Technician (“Competitive” comp not given) at Resource Innovations (Remote US)

  • Honestly, it should be a crime to write job descriptions this dull.

    Also, who is writing these job descriptions, THEY ARE SO BAD:

    • We are looking for a motivated individual to join our team to work full-time remotely. The ideal candidate is well-organized and service-oriented, able to track tasks on numerous projects while delivering exceptional service to clients and customers alike. A strong technical background will be preferred as the candidate may need to provide virtual technical support to customers. The candidate will feel comfortable working in a fast-moving environment and following established processes and procedures. The candidate will place a premium on delivering high-quality customer service solutions, which improves customer experience and satisfaction with the program, our client, and organization.

  • That whole paragraph – the whole JD, actually – is like a parody of itself. It's a dull, meaningless, satirical mess.

  • There are actually a few more Support/Success roles open at this company, but I can't subject myself to more of these. Although I might pick them back up tonight at bedtime. I bet they're more effective than Ambien.

• Client Success Manager (“Competitive” comp not given) at Resource Innovations (Remote US-Salt Lake City, UT)

  • Support senior staff with development of presentations and proposals — LOL, just added "Company thinks CX professionals are basically admin staff" to the Bingo card.

  • Ability to guide the big picture at a project level, while also possessing flawless detail orientation at a client delivery level — The belly laugh I just gave at a company that constantly repeats itself and can barely put together a sentence requiring "flawless detail orientation." Pretty sure it's the only thing keeping me from slipping into a boredom-induced coma.

• Customer Service and Rebate Processing Specialist (“Competitive” comp not given) at Resource Innovations (Remote US)

  • The Careers page is informative and easy to navigate, and the leadership team is very diverse. They seem very focused on DEI, although their Chief People Officer is also their General Counsel, which seems like an odd choice. (And if you're so committed to DEI, why not allow it to have its own executive in charge of it?)

  • Resource Innovations (RI) is a women-led energy transformation firm focused on impact. — But not on details, considering we see this entire paragraph twice.

  • Also, my god, this job description is boring. I legit just nodded off.

  • Provides customer service activities such as responding to emails and phone calls. Provides exceptional customer service and call handling in a customer centric environment. — I think whoever wrote this also got bored halfway through and just gave up.

  • Willing to support any program within the department as assigned

    Other duties as assigned — "You'll do, like, whatever, man. That's what 'support' means, right? Anyway, am I done yet?"

  • Must be able to an 8-hour shift as assigned within the hours of 8 am to 6 pm — Must be able to what? Wake up, hiring manager, you're not done! There's still half the JD left!

  • Strong attention to detail - *chokes*

  • A positive and customer - friendly outlook — I'm sorry, I can't come up with something funny. I'm so sleepy.

  • Able to follow directions as they are given — I think this might be the most patronizing thing I've ever read. So patronizing and so very, very dull.

  • Resource Innovations (RI) is a women-led energy transformation firm focused on impact. — THREE TIMES. Three times in the same job description!

  • Sure, whatever, Tread Carefully. Maybe "JD is unforgivably boring" should be a new BJB entry.

• Support Specialist (No comp given) at BetterCloud (Remote US)

  • Standard "About You" section, although, this reads as patronizing to me:

    • Smart, hungry, and looking for real world experience starting your first day

  • Otherwise, it seems like an interesting role, but I'm disappointed there's no salary transparency and that they ask for desired salary in the application. I thought you were better than that, BetterCloud!

BINGO

Welp.

• Oddly, none this week.

Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Senior Customer Support Representative (“Competitive” comp not given) at Solutions By Text (Remote-It is a mystery)

  • Straightforward Careers page with well-articulated and grounded vision and mission.

  • SBT is looking for a Customer Support Representative to help take our company’s growth to the next level. — Okay, this is a weird thing to say about a frontline role, but if you're going to say it, it better come with an outstanding salary.

  • The ideal candidate will be responsible for providing text and payment support to our clients. — HA! "The ideal candidate is alive and breathing and will do this thing we hired them to do."

  • Duties include handling high priority tickets within a fast-paced environment, escalating client/software issues to technical, and understand/analyze client requests to ensure high CSAT. — So there's a 'attention to detail' requirement coming up, right?

  • It will be imperative that this person be detail-oriented — Every time. Every. Time.

  • It will be imperative that this person be detail-oriented, self-motivated, able to stay focused in a fast-paced environment and adapt to frequent updates. — I want you to imagine that red flag/green flag guy from Instagram just running back and forth across a field with a sea of red waving majestically behind him.

  • Attentiveness and patience. — Nothing weird about including this in a list of job duties. Totally normal.

  • Experience managing high priority tickets in a fast-pace environment. Customer focus and adaptability to different personality types. Adapt to frequent changes. The red flag/green flag guy is now a red blur across the horizon.

  • Y'all, this is a weird-ass job description. After the Duties and Responsibilities and the Competencies and Experience sections, there is a second Duties and Responsibilities section with the most basic of requirements like "be ethical" and "don't mishandle customer info."

  • The Bad Job Bingo Shitposting Board of Directors has ruled this shady as fuck (I'm paraphrasing), and I agree with them. Maybe don't.

• Customer Support Representative (“Competitive” comp not given) at Solutions By Text (Remote-It is a mystery)

  • At a minimum the ideal candidate will need to be an energetic, persistent customer advocate and problem solver who can translate customer needs into a plan of action. — At least they've managed to figure out that "the ideal candidate" describes skills and competencies they want to see in a candidate, but then they ruin it with unnecessary ableism.

  • Job duties include handling high-priority inbound customer requests within a fast-paced environment [...]. The successful candidate will be detail-oriented, self-motivated, adaptable, and focused in a high-energy environment. — The red flag/green flag guy is now levitating, surrounded by an impossibly bright red glow cloud.

  • Experience managing higher complexity, larger customer requests in a fast-paced environment — STOP WITH THE FAST-PACED ENVIRONMENT, OH MY GOD

  • Look, there's not much else to say about this one except: Seriously, Maybe Don't.