23Mar25 Bad Job Bingo

In this issue:

• Get Hired

  • Green Means Go

  • Eh, It’s Probably Fine

  • Tread Carefully

  • BINGO

  • Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Oh, hi! Did you miss me?

If you’re on LinkedIn, you’ve seen this already, but: It’s been some rough forever, erm, months since November, and I’ve been licking my wounds and trying to treat an ongoing case of burnout.

I’d actually intended to publish an issue of the newsletter on its one year anniversary (January 14th!), but then I decided to break my ankle that day instead. (Boy, the things writers will do to avoid writing, amiright?)

But I’m now recovering and figured it was time to get back in the saddle. It’s a light issue bringing us back, but I figured something is better than nothing.

This issue also brings a new feature at Support Human Jobs: I now tag jobs with 👻 Ghost Job? when I suspect the company’s not actually hiring for it, and these suspicious jobs have their own category on the site now (meaning you can filter them out when looking at job results if you’d like).

Thanks for hanging in with me, and I hope you enjoy!

Get Hired

I play Bad Job Bingo with every job listing that appears in the Roundup and categorize them according to how well (or poorly, if I hit Bingo) they do in the game.

However, please remember that a job appearing in a positive category isn’t an endorsement of any role or company, and a job appearing in a negative category doesn't mean I think you shouldn't apply if it works for you. Bad Job Bingo is simply an effort to give you a shortcut to finding roles that may match your needs and values.

These and past contestants can be found at Support Human Jobs.

Green Means Go

No flags, or green flags only! A true unicorn.

• None this week.

Eh, It’s Probably Fine

A few flags popped up, but no serious ones.

• Sadly, none this week.

Tread Carefully

Didn’t quite hit bingo, but there were several yellow flags or more than one red flag.

• Director of Customer Support (“Competitive” comp not given) at Moniepoint (Hybrid UK-London)

  • Don't love that the benefits section is titled "Perks of being on the dream team" – say it with me: benefits are not perks! Also some odd inclusions, like "portfolio of projects that matter" (work is not a benefit), team-building activities (also not a benefit, wut), and "Dope Merch!" (y'all, this is its own flag for a reason).

  • I will give them points for making the interview process clear, though the section itself is buggy as hell and hard to read, so...points subtracted, I guess?

  • There's a well-produced recruiting video on their Culture page, but I can't decide if I think it's cute or a little sexist, because while the gentleman going through why you should work at Moniepoint is charming, he spends a decent chuck of it tut-tutting at a woman helping him, who is silent the whole time save a single line spoken off-camera. I'll let you make up your mind on this one.

  • Manage and develop a growing team of customer support professionals, currently composed of nine agents and three team leads based in Nigeria, with potential to double or triple as we scale. — I genuinely love the team lead-to-agent ratio there! It's unlikely they'll be able to maintain that ratio as they scale, but that's a good sign for how the company approaches management and coaching.

  • Ensure the team is trained and meets industry standards for customer care within three months, while driving toward operational excellence within six months. — This is a very ambitious timetable, but given the size of the team, could be doable.

  • We’re defining success as our Director of Customer Support building one of the best customer success/support teams in UK fintech. — It's good that they have an idea of what success means to this role early, but I do hope they also have more specific and achievable definitions of success, because otherwise how will they determine whether they have the best customer success/support team in UK fintech?

  • Establish and maintain industry-leading SLAs; Continuously monitor and improve key performance indicators (KPIs) such as Customer Satisfaction Score (CSAT) and Net Promoter Score (NPS), striving to be in the top quartile of UK fintechs. — Okay, nevermind! Those are decent and achievable measures of success.

  • So I'm actually torn on this one. This sounds like a really interesting role with an earnest company, with some neat travel opportunities thrown in. However, since I'm still unsure of what I think about the recruitment video and there's no salary transparency, I'm going to put this in a very tentative Tread Carefully, with the caveat that you could probably clear up any concerns pretty easily in the interview process.

BINGO

Welp.

• Customer Success Manager (Technical) ($100k-$140k) at Zip (Onsite US-NYC, NY)

  • Our curious, creative team is dedicated to un-complicating procurement so companies can innovate faster and change the world. — Welp, a red flag right up front. What a way to dive back into Bad Job Bingo!

  • Our aim is to find brightness and joy in every project and build from that place. We are serious about our fun and bring joy to finance and procurement experiences that truly stand out. — Because when I think finance and procurement, fun is my next thought.

  • The Benefits list is at least actually mostly benefits, but I do wonder at the order they put these in – for instance, Start-up equity comes before Health, vision, & dental coverage. The Careers page is otherwise mostly fine, if not standard, mildly informative corporate fare.

  • B2B SaaS experience in a high-paced environment is a benefit. — What does a high-paced environment mean to you, Zip? If you want the experience, you should be able to articulate what that experience should look like.

  • Creative problem solver while being attentive to details — You mean like consistently and properly constructing and punctuating sentences?

  • Proactive team player that is able to identify process gaps and willing to jump in and help wherever needed (company, team, self mentality) — Ehhhh. I know it's a startup, but...ehhhh.

  • Experience working in a top tier consulting firm or have an MBA — Even in a nice-to-haves, this makes me sigh heavily. Why? Why do you want this experience? Because otherwise it's just unnecessary. (Also, not for nothing, but why do they never consider that someone who's been at a top-tier consulting firm or has an MBA is likely not going to want a CX salary for wear-all-hats work with no clear advancement path? I always wonder what people are thinking when they write stuff like this.)

  • The salary range for this role is $100,000-$140,000 OTE. — For a commission-based on-site/hybrid role wanting 5+ years of experience in NYC and San Francisco, this is pretty low. How are they planning on these folks actually living in these localities? (And the role listed in Toronto doesn't list salary at all.)

  • This sounds like your run-of-the-mill startup trying to figure out its voice, but given the kind of flags we're seeing, plus the inadequate compensation and the fact that I'm not feeling particularly charitable today, I'm giving this a BINGO.

  • Steph’s Note: As noted, hybrid positions with the same title are available in San Francisco and Toronto. However, this position doesn't say anything about where work is expected to be located, so I'm assuming it's on-site.

• Support Operations Lead (“Competitive” comp not given) at Blacklane (Onsite US-Miami, FL)

  • Blacklane's Careers page is pretty bare-bones, with very little actual useful information, not unlike this job description!

  • No information on where work will take place or work hours, no mention of benefits, and no salary information. BINGO it is.

• Bilingual Client Engagement Senior Specialist (“Competitive” comp not given) at Valon (Onsite US-Phoenix, AR)

  • Do what’s best for Valon - We always do what’s best for the business. We prioritize Valon’s long-term success over personal or departmental interests. Every decision should keep in mind what’s globally optimal for Valon. — I can't put my finger on what disturbs me about this value, except that I thought, "Mmm, tastes like capitalism!" when I read it.

  • Health Benefits - Health, dental, and vision insurance are all company-sponsored to keep you healthy and strong. — ...to work, monkey, work? (I'm sorry, I swear I'm not being hyper-critical on purpose. But what a weirdly menacing way to phrase that!)

  • The Client Experience team is a group of organized and altruistic individuals — I do not ever want to be described as altruistic by the company that's paying me in exchange for labor.

  • Whether taking ownership of collections, managing default processes, or solving homeowner issues in real time, the team acts as a bridge between Valon and our homeowners. — LOL. The picture is becoming clearer.

  • Identify and locate delinquent accounts using credit bureau information, loan documents, background checks, and other sources and databases. Determine if we're able to collect past-due payments. Collect payments on or set up repayment plans for delinquent accounts—and update records once the loan is current. — Oof. I mean, if that's the role, then that's the role, but. Oof.

  • Compensation: Competitive salary and a 401(k) plan—with a 4% annual match! — If the salary is competitive, then why can't you say what the salary is? Y'all.

  • Hours: No weekends or late nights required! — Okay, now I really want to know what the salary is.

  • Grow together: We set new employees up for success with our company-wide New Hire Orientation! — Oh for fuck's sake. You don't get brownie points for teaching people how to do the job they were hired to do. I award you negative points.

  • Look, this company sounds weird, the role sounds weird, and the fact that they can't tell you what the pay is is weird. We've got a weird club sandwich of a job listing here, is what I'm saying. I'm calling this a BINGO.

  • Note: There's also a Bilingual Client Engagement Specialist open in Phoenix, but they have identical job descriptions, so I have no idea what makes this one senior and the other not. Same with the Client Engagement Senior Specialist and Client Engagement Specialist roles.

• Support Engineer (“Competitive” comp not given) at Finix (Onsite US-San Francisco, CA)

  • Finix is on a mission to create the most accessible financial services ecosystem in history. — I'm going to say that striving for ridiculous and overblown feats of scale is just "our business is going to change the world!" in more flamboyant clothing.

  • To accelerate access to payments and fintech for the greater good, we need to remove the technical, compliance, regulatory, and global barriers to entry. — I think I get what they're trying to say, but it also kind of reads to me as "we should be able to do whatever we want."

  • Here are some of the values you’ll find among the talented group of Finixians (yes, that’s what we call ourselves) — *sigh* Okay.

  • Our customers trust us with their businesses and their livelihoods. We don’t rest so that our customers can. — But like, what does this mean? Do y'all just never nap?

  • Open, Honest, & Direct We don’t stand for corporate politics. We say what we mean and mean what we say, but we always do it in a respectful manner. — I have a bad feeling about this.

  • Act Like An Owner ...because you are one! Hold yourself and others accountable. And absolutely never say “that’s not my job.” — BUT SOME THINGS ARE NOT, AND SHOULD NOT BE, YOUR JOB.

  • Always Hungry & Hustling We live with a sense of urgency and abhor complacency. Where others see walls we see opportunity. We work hard but enjoy the ride! — I'm getting burned out just reading this Careers page.

  • We know feeling well in the mind, body, and spirit fuels creativity, passion, and hustle. — What is with these Benefits statements today? Jesus Christ.

  • This hybrid role entails working in the office 4 days per week in our San Francisco HQ. — You know this tune: 4 days a week in the office is an onsite role with one day of telework authorized. Now for the chorus!

  • Collaborate with the Revenue, Product, and Engineering teams on projects, features, and tasks along with managing the Hubspot queue and answering tickets — Tickets in Hubspot? Ugh. That physically hurts to think about.

  • BS/MS in Computer Science, Engineering, or similar experience (Open to DevBootcamp graduates and non-college graduates) — Oh, cool, so this must have an engineer's salary then, right? RIGHT?

  • Comfortable working in a fast pace environment and interacting with a high volume of customers every day, team-oriented, and hungry to learn — A "fast pace" environment with high-ticket volume in...Hubspot. Woo!

  • Base Salary Range: $85,000/yr to $115,000/yr USD

    

  • Look, I'm being kind by only putting this in BINGO.

Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Head of Global Support ($160k-$220k) at Zip (Hybrid US-San Francisco, CA)

  • We are looking for a highly motivated and results-driven Global Head of Support — As opposed to a candidate whose personal idol is The Dude?

  • Reporting directly to the CCO, you’ll play a pivotal role in shaping the future of our support operations. — Does this mean they have a Chief Customer Officer? That would be cool, but it's rare in Tech. I wish hiring managers would remember that candidates don't have a magical understanding of their company's inner workings and spell this stuff out.

    • If they do have a CCO and the Head of Support's job is to develop and execute a global strategy, I'm curious what the CCO is doing.

  • You will also build out our Product Support Engineering function, aiming to reduce the volume of issues requiring involvement from Engineering, Product, and Design teams (EPD). — I'm sorry, the fuck? You want this role to build out its own completely separate product development function to fix a product so seemingly broken that even the Engineering, Product, and Design teams don't want to deal with it anymore? ARE YOU KIDDING ME

    • (ALSO ALSO as the Head of Support? What in the crackerjack hell is the CCO doing?)

  • Lead, mentor, and manage the global support team in multiple regions. — This is a bonkers requirement for any organization (how is one person supposed to mentor entire teams of people in different regions globally?) but ALSO when, pray tell, will they have time to mentor anyone as they're creating an entirely new company within a company?

  • Work closely with the CCO and Engineering to align support objectives with the company’s broader goals. Collaborate with senior leadership to ensure that customer feedback and support insights inform product development and operational improvements. — Do you mean work closely with the teams you're supposed to be working to cut yourself off from? I am confusion.

  • Drive the scaling of the support organization from 5 to 50+ people, ensuring that the right processes, systems, and tools are in place for efficient and effective global support operations. — The BJB Board of Directors pointed out that this ought to be, at minimum, a VP role and I am increasingly in agreement.

  • Customer-Centric Culture: Foster a customer-first mentality throughout the organization, ensuring that every member of the support team is empowered to deliver excellent customer experiences. — How is this role supposed to do that when a major portion of the company doesn't want anything to do with customers or – apparently – the product they created?

  • Hands-on experience in building out and optimizing product support functions, with a focus on reducing engineering, product, and design intervention. — Let me rewrite that for you: "Experience winding down support operations for a company going out of business due to poor product-market fit."

  • In-depth knowledge of the unique challenges and requirements of scaling support in a fast-paced, high-growth SaaS environment. — "...with absolutely no support from the rest of the company."

  • The salary range for this role is $160,000-$220,000.

    

    Glass Onion meme courtesy of r/MemeTemplatesOfficial

  • I think it probably goes without saying, but this is a firm Seriously, Maybe Don't.