22Sep24 Bad Job Bingo

In this issue:

• Get Hired

  • Green Means Go

  • Eh, It’s Probably Fine

  • Tread Carefully

  • BINGO

  • Seriously, Maybe Don’t

We have a blustery bunch this week, so we’re practicing the art of taking cover from the storm.

Just a heads up that ElevateCX Denver is this Thursday and Friday, so we’re likely to have a light issue next week. I hope I’ll see some of you there!

Get Hired

I play Bad Job Bingo with every job listing that appears in the Roundup and categorize them according to how well (or poorly, if I hit Bingo) they do in the game.

However, please remember that a job appearing in a positive category isn’t an endorsement of any role or company, and a job appearing in a negative category doesn't mean I think you shouldn't apply if it works for you. Bad Job Bingo is simply an effort to give you a shortcut to finding roles that may match your needs and values.

These and past contestants can be found at Support Human Jobs.

Green Means Go

No flags, or green flags only! A true unicorn.

• None this week.

Eh, It’s Probably Fine

A few flags popped up, but no serious ones.

• Onboarding Manager ($75k + $15k-$35k Com.) at Mangomint (Remote US)

  • Seems like a pretty straightforward onboarding role, with the usual startup suspects ("fun" team, fast-paced environment, adapt to change/challenges, let's do the time warp again).

  • Nothing too concerning, and the pay is good for an early-career gig.

• Customer Support Specialist ($55k-$60k) at Mangomint (Remote US)

  • You know what, Mangomint gets points for having a hella-focused mission and vision statement and a near-gender-balanced senior leadership team.

  • These aren't the best-written job duties I've ever seen, but at least I feel confident a real person wrote them, and that's something.

  • Enjoyment in working on difficult-to-solve problems, even in stressful situations — It's not that I think salon and spa operations can't be stressful, I just always wonder why companies think that customers' stress must always transfer to customer support teams. As someone who's both worked in what would be considered highly stressful fields and led teams, I know that doesn't have to be true, so it's frustrating to see this so often in job descriptions.

  • Overall, though, this job seems pretty straightforward, the benefits are fine, and the pay is good for a fairly entry-level remote role. Nice to see a solid Eh, It's Probably Fine for this week's issue.

Tread Carefully

Didn’t quite hit bingo, but there were several yellow flags or more than one red flag.

• Manager of Customer Success (“Competitive” comp not given) at SafetyCulture (Hybrid UK-Manchester)

  • Same problem with font sizes as with the Director of Success role.

  • I don't have much new to say about this role except that it is very similar to the Director role. Literally, the bullet points are almost copy-and-paste identical.

  • I get that these roles will have some overlap, and seniority may be the biggest differentiator, but I dunno. It strikes me as odd and makes me wonder if they are entirely sure about the team's structure.

  • I don't think this one is as worrisome as the Director role, however, so I'm putting it in Tread Carefully.

• Customer Onboarding Manager (“Competitive” comp not given) at SafetyCulture (Hybrid US-Miami, FL)

  • The font problems are even worse in this job description than they are in the other two roles I've rated for this company so far.

  • Otherwise, it seems like a straightforward onboarding role, but accessibility issues and lack of salary transparency put it squarely in Tread Carefully.

• Customer Onboarding Manager/ Customer Success Manager- LATAM (“Competitive” comp not given) at SafetyCulture (Hybrid US-Kansas City, MO)

  • I swear I entered the role title exactly as it's displayed on the job listing. I'm not sure what's going on with this role, but the title in the actual job description is Customer Onboarding Manager, so...I dunno, man, I'm just the rater.

  • Again with the font problems. I should change the job board's tagline temporarily to: "I deal with the tiny font-induced headaches, so you don't have to." It seems identical to the other onboarding role with this company, just in Kansas City.

• Manager, Customer Success (“Competitive” comp not given) at SafetyCulture (Hybrid US-Kansas City, MO)

  • There are two different job titles in this job description, Manager, Customer Success and Customer Success Manager. Which one refers to this role specifically? Your guess is as good as mine.

  • Also, what's the difference between a Manager of Customer Success, a Manager, Customer Success, and a Customer Success Manager at SafetyCulture?

  • They repeat their inclusivity statement twice in this JD, and yes, there are still font issues.

  • At this point, given SafetyCulture's inability to do something as minor as QA their own job descriptions, I'm a little worried about the efficacy of their actual product.

• Client Success Manager (“Competitive” comp not given) at Datamaran (Hybrid US-NYC, NY)

  • Datamaran's Careers page isn't terribly informative, but at least they have one.

  • I think this might be the first job description I've seen (at least in a long while) that puts the EEO statement up front. I like it!

  • Are you passionate about building long-lasting relationships with customers while promoting the value of a unique SaaS product? — I try not to break down JD phrasing too much, but this is a savvy way to put this. I may not always be wild about selling a product, but building relationships with customers really is my favorite part of the job, and I'd wager that's true for many CX folks. It's just a smart way of relating to candidates' preferences without losing sight of their own business goals.

  • You will be supported by our Implementation & Training team taking care of the customers’ first steps in their onboarding journey, technical requests from clients, while you’ll be focusing on the strategic support of accounts. — I love it when companies talk about how candidates will be supported in the role! A green flag.

  • Excellent organizational, prioritization skills and attention to detail. — Given the repeated requirements in the very same section as this one, this remains the funniest (and most reliable) of all the Bad Job Bingo entries.

  • We are Datamaran: a fast-paced, energetic and high-growth technology company. — Well, this took a turn. Between this casual ableism, the lack of salary transparency despite competitive claims, and their ask for compensation expectations on the application, the JD practically puts itself in Tread Carefully.

  • We could have had it all, Datamaran.

BINGO

Welp.

• Sr Director, Customer Experience ($147-?) at Stride (Remote US-VA)

  • Job application is on Workday. My condolences.

  • This role is responsible for working throughout our organization to enhance our sales processes by being the #1 advocate and champion of the customer. — I think I understand what they're getting at here, it's just a weird way of saying it. Or maybe I'm not accustomed to companies saying that sales are their #1 priority (over customer experience) so plainly.

  • And now that I've seen the sales thing, I feel like the rest of the job description (save maybe a few bullets toward the end) is geared more toward sales than CX work, or it's written just vaguely enough to leave it up to interpretation. Which, again, just seems weird to me.

  • All of that is not enough to put this in Tread Carefully, so I bet you're wondering why this job ended up here. Well, brace yourself because there's about to be some language:

    • Compensation & Benefits: Stride, Inc. considers a person’s education, experience, and qualifications, as well as the position’s work location, expected quality and quantity of work, required travel (if any), external market and internal value when determining a new employee’s salary level. Salaries will differ based on these factors, the position’s level and expected contribution, and the employee’s benefits elections. Offers will typically be in the bottom half of the range.

    • We anticipate the salary range to be $147,151.50- $268,166.40. The upper end of this range is not likely to be offered

  • THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING SALARY RANGE, THEN. SHARE THE ACTUAL FUCKING RANGE.

  • It is so infuriating when companies want the credit of giving a salary without actually giving the salary, which is such utter bullshit, especially from a company with stated values of "Trustworthiness" and "Accountability."

  • That's not transparency, trustworthiness, or accountability. That's manipulation and it is bad practice and you should feel bad, Stride.

• Director of Customer Success (“Competitive” comp not given) at SafetyCulture (Hybrid UK-Manchester)

  • SafetyCulture's Careers page starts out well by being very complimentary of its team and potential candidates.

  • Also, if you're going to do a recruitment video, SafetyCulture demonstrates a good way to do it – they showcase several employees (not all white dudes!) talking about the product but also what it's like to work at the company, giving candidates a glimpse into why they might want to work for the company.

  • I'm dinging them for describing in-house catering, drinks, parties, and office games as benefits while not describing the actual benefits as anything. Weird.

  • LOL, also dinging for: all the women on the leadership team are white, and all the women are from Support, Marketing or HR (it is a large, very male, VERY white leadership team).

  • The difference in font sizes (very small to just small) in this job description is painful to read. How much do we want to bet that there's attention to detail required somewhere in here? (Shocker: there wasn't!)

  • Do you thrive working in a high performing and innovative environment? — No, I love failure and stagnation. Doesn't everyone?

  • Inspire your team by championing resourcefulness and adaptability, guiding them to navigate through ambiguity and consistently deliver high-quality work even in challenging situations. — Hoo boy. Why does this read to me as "We will give you no resources, we will change the parameters of success constantly, and we will offer little to no support toward meeting your strategic goals. Good luck!"

  • They do at least stop referring to catering et al. as benefits in the JD, so at least there's that.

  • So most of this job description is run-of-the-mill Director of Customer Success fare, but it hits BINGO for a few reasons: red flags surrounding the actual working conditions of the role, no salary transparency despite competitive claims, and the flags I've already mentioned about the leadership team and Careers page.

  • Also, for a team that claims to care about diversity and that clearly has the resources to devote to it, I would expect them to care more about the accessibility of their job descriptions.

• Director of Customer Success (“Competitive” comp not given) at Virtuous (Hybrid US-Phoenix, AR)

  • Watching Virtous' company recruitment video and watching their founder repeat, "We do hard things" and "We walk into the storm" has me hovering over that "Unsure if you're joining a cult or a company" Bad Job Bingo entry like I'm a Search & Rescue helicopter coming in for the save.

  • The rest of the video is fine, normal even. But like. I want to go to work. I don't want to walk into a storm with my coworkers unless we are legit first responders. Can we not with these alarming metaphors, please.

  • Okay, so look. This could just be me. I am highly suspicious and cynical, I fully own that. But everything in this job description just comes across as slightly off. Just, like, this side of reasonable.

  • Create standardized Success Plans for customers across all Virtuous product lines, ensuring consistency and excellence in service delivery — I asked the Bad Job Bingo Board of Directors if this is something we'd expect a Director of Success would do, and the verdict was that maybe they're creating the processes for creating plans, and perhaps this was just worded poorly, so I'm going to go with that.

  • Personally manage escalations from your direct reports, and follow a methodical escalation process to Chief Customer Officer and/or customer executive sponsors — I can't decide if this is an interesting white-glove strategy or sheer madness.

  • Define organization-wide responsibilities for each stage of the customer journey — This has "CX is responsible for all customer outcomes" written all over it.

  • Cultivate a culture of customer delight by adopting a "best for Virtuous, best for the customer" approach. — See? See what I mean about things just feeling slightly off?

  • Revise CSM compensation plans annually or as necessary — This feels ominous. Revise in what way?

  • Also, "Employer-contributed healthcare benefits"? Why not just say what the contributions are? "Market competitive pay leveraging Carta data"? Why not just say what the pay is? The whole Benefits section is like that. Why are they being so weird about it?

  • ALSO ALSO, you want to hear some real bullshit? This job is listed as Remote but then on the application, it asks this question:

    • Are you ok working a hybrid work schedule (3 days in office)?

    • That kind of deceptive bait-and-switch isn't exactly virtuous, you know what I'm saying?

  • And then there's this required question:

    • Explain your understanding of SaaS business models and your experience working in a SaaS environment. Additionally, describe any experience you have working with nonprofit organizations and how it influences your approach to Customer Success.

    • "This is a time-wasting, AI-baiting, borderline insulting question to which the only reasonable response is, 'fuck that noise.' In this essay, I will–"

  • BINGO.

• Technical Support Specialist - Tier 1 (“Competitive” comp not given) at Virtuous (Hybrid US-Phoenix, AR)

  • Employing a proactive and engaged method, you'll be responsible for taking a hands-on role at the forefront — This ridiculous word soup sounds suspiciously like AI.

  • Respond to incoming support tickets from customers received via email or phone using Zendesk with exceptional attention to detail. — LOL. Of course.

  • Innovation is key. It's necessary to propose creative solution(s)- i.e. using a feature maybe outside of its initial design intent if it helps get a customer closer to accomplishing a task. — I would argue that it's not a Tier 1 support agent's job to be innovative in this way – their job is to quickly analyze and identify a problem, resolve it if possible, and escalate it quickly and efficiently if not. If Virtuous spent any time at all explaining how they support this position or its professional growth or even the compensation package (which, yes, absolutely matters here), maybe I'd think otherwise, but they don't.

  • Demonstrate a strong ability to troubleshoot and resolve issues even when faced with unfamiliar or complex scenarios. Proactively seek out information, leverage problem-solving skills to identify and offer inventive workarounds in dynamic and challenging situations. — All of this is just a red flag. No information about what supports the Teir 1 team receives, which makes me think they shouldn't expect to receive any, which is just bad news.

  • Adapt to new challenges and responsibilities as they arise in a dynamic work environment. — Yikes.

  • Ability to manage workload based on changing priorities. Phenomenal organizational skills. Desire for constant growth personally and professionally. The ability to thrive in a fast-paced, flexible start-up environment. Ability to take your work seriously without taking yourself too seriously. — So I'm guessing this is the "storm" Virtuous' founder is talking about in that recruitment video?

  • My advice is to run away from the storm. Run far, far away.

Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Customer Operations Lead ($80k-$130k) at Motion (Remote US)

  • Motion has a Careers page, but that's about all you can say about it. Not a lot of information there.

  • We are growing extremely quickly, trusted by thousands of customers, have millions in revenue, near-infinite runway, and an exceptionally talented team. Most of Motion's 30 employees work in engineering, and the majority of those in business and operations roles also have technical skills. — Ehhh, okay. Look. I'm about to make a lot of assumptions, but they're based on 10 years of working in Customer Support in Tech. Okay? Cool.

  • The thing is, you should always be skeptical about claims of "near-infinite runway." Even if it's true (it's probably not), it's only true because the company is making some very specific choices about what it values and what it doesn't. Motion is giving us some crystal-clear clues about what it values: engineering and not much else.

  • Which, okay, it's an "AI" product, so that makes sense...to a point. The point at which that stops making sense is when you start looking at its Customer Operations team: a single Customer Operations Lead (not Director, not Manager, Lead – seniority matters) and, it seems, many outsourced Support roles (at least 30, as we learn later in the description).

  • This is not a criticism of using outsourced CX agents; rather, it's pointing out the major trade-offs Motion is making to have that "near-infinite runway": the smallest investment possible in the customer experience for the highest possible extraction of profit from customers.

  • As the Customer Operations Lead at Motion, you'll oversee the customer support function while driving operational excellence and strategic initiatives. Leading a dynamic team, you'll focus on enhancing customer experience through efficient processes and innovative solutions. — You better have efficient processes and innovative solutions because you will probably have only a fraction of that near-infinite runway with which to work.

  • This role is a fast track to becoming a manager, with a clear pathway for growth. — This role will already be leading the whole Support function, that it's not already at least a manager-level role is, frankly, absurd.

  • Ambitious new graduates are welcome to apply. — Again, this tells you all you need to know about how important Motion thinks Customer Support is and what they think it takes to make it great.

  • 2-5 years of experience in customer support/success operations, business development, or related fields. 1-4 years of management experience. — Absurd. Laughable. A shanda. Take your pick.

  • Ability to multitask in high-stress environments and adapt to schedule changes. — What a pitch! Sign me up.

  • I am genuinely shocked to learn Motion has a Head of Customer Experience, which this role reports to, apparently! This is an honest question: what kind of support can the Customer Ops Lead expect to receive from the Head of CX? Because from the way this JD is written, it really does seem like whoever's in this role is on their own.

  • Not to mention: why isn't this role more senior? It's a big leap from Lead to Head of CX, especially when that Lead is overseeing an entire function. Also, 30 contract agents are a lot of people. Is this role meant to manage all of them?

  • This is just...a lot. I don't think it's enough to be a Seriously, Maybe Don't, but it's definitely a BINGO.

  • UPDATE: I've since heard from someone who interviewed at this company that the interview process is not great, which is not surprising given the job description, so I'm moving this to Seriously, Maybe Don't.

• Customer Success Manager (No comp given) at finally (Onsite US-Boca Raton, FL)

  • As an integral part of our team, you will be the main contact for our customers for renewals, upsells, escalations and promoting value. — Okay, cool, this all makes sense, seems normal...

  • This is a Junior level position so previous CSM experience is not required but preferred. — Um, but as the main contact for customers, are you sure having someone with no previous CSM experience is wise?

  • You will own a book of 300-500 accounts where you are responsible for the overall net retention. — Holy shit, are you trying to kill this new hire? This very junior, main point of contact new hire? Why? Why are you doing this?

  • Ability to work under pressure in a deadline-driven, team-oriented environment — And by "ability to work under pressure" they mean okay with slowly being crushed under the weight of expectations, inexperience, and your 300-500 accounts until you're a tiny, person-shaped material denser than osmium.

  • Ability to adapt to different customer personalities and situations during outreach. — "Okay with being screamed at." This pretty much always means "okay with being screamed at."

  • Alright, I need to be dead serious right now: please know that when companies say roles like this are "junior," they don't mean that they actually want to hire someone early in their career and then develop them professionally over time.

  • They want someone who 1) doesn't know any better and 2) is suitably dispensable. They want someone who doesn't feel like they can say no, who won't stop until it's way too late for their mental and physical health, and who is easy to get rid of once their usefulness has ended. Jobs like this are bad news, as are the companies that are creating them. Run away.