20Oct24 Bad Job Bingo

In this issue:

• Get Hired

  • Green Means Go

  • Eh, It’s Probably Fine

  • Tread Carefully

  • BINGO

  • Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Another light one for you this week, with an extra side of grouchiness.

As you might've noticed, I took a break last week. I mentioned it was the High Holy Days, and it's always a busy time of year. And I didn't just take a break from the newsletter, I took a prolonged break from LinkedIn as well, although not from all social media. Apparently, I can only devote attention to one platform at a time; if I'm on Twitter, that means I can't be on Linkedin, too.

I honestly don't know how most writers do this social media thing. I can only manage the misery one by one.

But resting last week somehow really drove home how fucking tired I was (and am). I love doing Bad Job Bingo for you and with you, but I haven't found an answer to the fatigue that comes with publishing a weekly newsletter and maintaining a job board of (hopefully) decent quality.

I debated whether to talk about this (especially since, as job seekers, I know how much more exhausted you must be), but if my brand is built on nothing else, it's honesty. (And snark. But mostly honesty.)

This is where I'm at. The exhaustion probably isn't going anywhere (for me or any of us). We're all doing our best.

Whenever I wonder why I'm doing all of this when it feels like I'm having very little impact (which, I must admit, is not infrequently), I remind myself that it does matter to you. If there can be a point to anything I do in this unpredictable, mostly unregulated, often unjust world of capitalist hell Tech, well.

The point is you.

Get Hired

I play Bad Job Bingo with every job listing that appears in the Roundup and categorize them according to how well (or poorly, if I hit Bingo) they do in the game.

However, please remember that a job appearing in a positive category isn’t an endorsement of any role or company, and a job appearing in a negative category doesn't mean I think you shouldn't apply if it works for you. Bad Job Bingo is simply an effort to give you a shortcut to finding roles that may match your needs and values.

These and past contestants can be found at Support Human Jobs.

Green Means Go

No flags, or green flags only! A true unicorn.

• None this week.

Eh, It’s Probably Fine

A few flags popped up, but no serious ones.

• Senior Customer Success Manager ($125k-$148k) at Relyance (Remote US-TX, MO, OK, IL)

  • There's some weird phrasing in this job description, but in a way that makes me think it's probably just what happens when you translate a JD from another language to English. They also don't require attention to detail, which I appreciate.

  • Overall, it's a pretty straightforward Success position with decent pay. They don't mention benefits, which I'd address in the interview process, but otherwise it's a solid Eh, It's Probably Fine.

  • (There are other CX roles open at this company in the U.S. and India.)

Tread Carefully

Didn’t quite hit bingo, but there were several yellow flags or more than one red flag.

• Cloud Support Engineer ($75k-$110k) at CoreWeave (Onsite US-Sunnyvale, CA; Roseland, NJ; Brooklyn, NY; Bellevue, WA)

  • CoreWeave's About Us page is pretty informative about values and benefits with a good recruiting video, so I'm confused as to why they're not calling it their Careers page, which would make it easier for job seekers to find. And if the video is correct and they have almost 500 employees, I would expect to see a more mature candidate experience overall.

  • I'm also pretty unimpressed that they obfuscate the location of this role. The Our Workplace section feels deliberately wishy-washy, and in the application, they say:

    • This is a hybrid role that can be based at our offices [...] Are you willing to come into the office at least 3 days a week?

    • 1) That's not a hybrid role, that's an onsite role with 1-2 days of telework authorized, for fuck's sake, I am so tired, and

    • 2) Why hide this in the application if not to capture candidates who would otherwise skip the listing based on location? Stuff like this drives me nuts. Do better, CoreWeave. Be transparent. This is unnecessary.

  • Drive projects that improve support-related processes and our customers’ technical support experience; Assist with the training and development of new hires; Plan, organize, and manage tasks, resources, and timelines across teams to accomplish work accurately and on time — This is (at least) manager-level work. This is not appropriate for a frontline title or a pay range of $75,000-$110,000.

  • Neither, by the way, are this role's technical requirements, which really are for a cloud engineer, nor are the shift requirements, which include the wee hours of the morning and weekends.

  • I am deeply unimpressed with CoreWeave's showing here. Tread Carefully.

• Member Services Associate ($48k-$65k) at Maven Clinic (Remote US)

  • I am immediately suspicious of companies that in one breath brag about how great a workplace they are and then, in the next, make it clear that they are only being transparent about salary because they are legally required to in New York, Colorado, or California. Honestly, it's fucking laughable.

  • You guys already know that I think $48k-$65k for a non-entry level role is inadequate, but it's especially bullshit given these requirements:

    • Bachelor’s degree or equivalent experience; Verbal and written fluency in Spanish

  • I remain underwhelmed. Tread Carefully.

BINGO

Welp.

• Customer Success Operations Manager ($105k-$135k) at CoreWeave (Remote or Onsite US-Roseland, NJ; Brooklyn, NY)

  • All of the responsibilities in this job description are Head of/Director-level responsibilities, not those of a manager. They're trying to get a discount Head of Success Ops.

  • Strategic Leadership: Collaborate with the Senior Director of Customer Success to execute strategic initiatives. Provide data-driven insights and stay updated on industry trends to recommend improvements and maintain a competitive edge. — What the hell is the Senior Director of Customer Success doing, then?

  • Growth Opportunities This role offers significant growth potential within the company as we continue to expand and mature. As the company scales, you'll have the opportunity to take on increased responsibilities, lead cross-functional projects, and potentially advance into leadership roles within the Customer Success organization. — This feels like some real bullshit, seeing as this person would already be in a fairly senior leadership role, and all the worse because it's in function and not in name.

  • Customer Success Expertise: Minimum of 2 years in Customer Success: with proven experience in building and scaling operations, developing efficient workflows, and implementing one-to-many (tech-touch) strategies. Strong understanding of customer journey mapping and best practices in a dynamic environment. — Tell me you have no idea who or what experience you're looking for without telling me you have no idea who or what you're looking for. Also: my "what the fuck?" face got more and more contorted as I read the rest of that bullet.

  • Also also, they want someone to do all of this for $105,000-$135,000.

  • ALSO ALSO ALSO this question on the application in which they confess to knowing how fucking ridiculous this JD is: Are you comfortable interviewing for the salary outlined in the job description?

  • Ding ding ding, we have a (BINGO) winner.

• Customer Onboarding Specialist (No comp given) at EvenUp (Remote US-Certain Cities & States)

  • EvenUp is on a mission to close the justice gap using technology and AI. We empower personal injury lawyers and victims to get the justice they deserve. — Ooookay, how do you do that?

  • We build products that predict what personal injury cases are worth. Our world-class team includes leaders from Waymo, Google, Amazon, Uber, Quora, Blizzard, Norton Rose, Warburg Pincus, McKinsey and Bain. — Oh.

  • Another company using its About Us page as its Careers page. Why? I don't get it. This doesn't help you (or candidates) at all.

  • In this pivotal role, you will play a vital part in ensuring our clients enjoy a seamless and successful transition to an enhanced way of working. Your mission is to collaborate closely with our Customer Success Managers and Legal Operations teams during this critical phase, ensuring that clients not only embrace but also adeptly adapt to these innovative approaches. — This feels so fucking ominous, oh my god. Like...does the product suck? Are they selling vaporware? Because that's how this comes across to me.

  • Bachelor's degree (or equivalent) in a related field; MBA or JD is a plus — Boy, I bet EvenUp's compensation for this role must be transparent and adequate for their extremely expensive advanced degree wishlist.

  • Oh, there's no salary mentioned at all? I'm so surprised. I might fall over from all this surprise I'm feeling.

  • Since they're expecting candidates to operate on vibes only, so am I! And my vibes tell me this is a BINGO.

• Customer Success Manager, Mid-Market (No comp given) at EvenUp (Remote US-Certain Cities & States)

  • This role will have a very real impact on every customer decision we make, supporting growth efforts, product development, and of course, customers! — LOL, of course supporting actual customers comes last.

  • As for the rest of the job description, I'll take "What job description was written by AI?" for $800, Alex.

  • Still just vibes, still a BINGO.

Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Client Experience Associate (No comp given) at Farther (Onsite US-Dallas, TX)

  • If you’re the type who breaks through walls to get things done the right way, we want to build the future of wealth management with you. — Y'all. Fuck that. Take a nap.

  • As a member of Farther’s client experience team, this is an opportunity to have a huge impact not just on the company, but on the entire wealth industry. — Oh, yeah? Does the salary match that huge impact?

  • Support advisors by performing and managing daily tasks for the business and existing clients; Help advisors execute operational follow-up action items for clients — Huh? Is this a support position, or is this a remote office manager position?

  • Team player with a positive attitude and a strong work ethic; Highly organized with exceptional attention to detail and strong communication skills; Comfortable working in a fast-paced environment and ability to handle multiple competing tasks; Passion for creating increased efficiencies within current operational processes for the business and servicing clients — I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  • Look, apparently this is just not the week for this bullshit. Blah blah woof woof capitalism, but a company that wants to use you to build private wealth for others but won't deign to tell you what the compensation package is is especially hypocritical and I just cannot (Farther for me, but not for thee?).

  • If they can be cavalier with people's livelihoods, then I can be cavalier with Bad Job Bingo. Off to Seriously, Maybe Don't they go.

• Senior Customer Success Manager (No comp given) at Autone (Unknown, US-NY Maybe?)

  • We value sharp minds and strong initiative. — Y'all, I'm tired. Enter joke here illustrating the absurdity of wasting space saying uninsightful, useless shit like this on Career pages.

  • We tackle real problems. — Do you? Do you really? As opposed to all those fake problems experienced by non-inventory management companies? Y'all have got to stop letting your marketing interns write your Careers pages.

  • We’re not just about enhancing productivity, we’re about enhancing lives. — Oh, for fuck's sake.

  • We’re not just filling roles; we’re fueling a movement. — This Careers page is killing me. Literally, I can feel the website sending free radicals directly through my eyeballs and into my bloodstream. Like 5G. That's how that works, right?

  • Oh god, is it over? IS IT FINALLY OVER? AM I FREE? Oh, there's still a whole job description. Ugh.

  • Autone is an AI-powered inventory optimisation platform — Well, at least that explains everything.

  • I'll take "What job description was written by AI?" for one billion dollars, Alex.

  • No compensation, no mentions of benefits anywhere, no idea if it's onsite or remote, and the location is just "Usa, New York Office." Honestly, I'm not even convinced this is a real company. I'm gonna say Seriously, Maybe Don't.