06Apr25 Bad Job Bingo

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In this issue:

• Get Hired

  • Green Means Go

  • Eh, It’s Probably Fine

  • Tread Carefully

  • BINGO

  • Seriously, Maybe Don’t

  • Possibly Psychotic

Another light issue for you this week, but I do at least bring you a special rating. No, it’s not an April Fool’s joke. I wish it was!

Heads up: Next weekend is one of my kiddos’ birthday and the start of Passover, so there will be no new issue. Bad Job Bingo and I will be back the following week as usual.

Get Hired

I play Bad Job Bingo with every job listing that appears in the Roundup and categorize them according to how well (or poorly, if I hit Bingo) they do in the game.

However, please remember that a job appearing in a positive category isn’t an endorsement of any role or company, and a job appearing in a negative category doesn't mean I think you shouldn't apply if it works for you. Bad Job Bingo is simply an effort to give you a shortcut to finding roles that may match your needs and values.

These and past contestants can be found at Support Human Jobs.

Green Means Go

No flags, or green flags only! A true unicorn.

• No unicorns this week.

Eh, It’s Probably Fine

A few flags popped up, but no serious ones.

• Community Lead ($150k-$260k) at Moonvalley (Hybrid US-Los Angeles or San Francisco, CA)

  • Powered by Marey: The generative video model trained from scratch entirely on fully-licensed data — You know, if I have to co-exist with AI nonsense, at least it's licensed nonsense? (Total aside: their vision for generative video is worth a read.)

  • No real Careers page, just a list of jobs on Ashby.

  • Through technical workshops, community initiatives, and close collaboration with filmmakers and studios, you'll help shape an AI filmmaking future that pushes creative boundaries while respecting the work and rights of artists everywhere. — It's probably a little pathetic how easy it is to get me on your side as an AI company. Oh, you're doing the bare minimum? WOULD YOU LIKE A COOKIE?

  • Natural mentor and charismatic leader with ability to identify, nurture, and spotlight a diverse range of talent wherever you find it — Y'all know what I'm going to say here – real, positive leadership and mentorship require skill and knowledge beyond what natural ability can provide, and some (if not, in my experience, most) people will actually do more harm than good when they rely on charisma to get them through working with communities.

  • In our team, we approach our work with the dedication similar to Olympic athletes. Anticipate occasional late nights and weekends dedicated to our mission. We understand this level of commitment may not suit everyone, and we openly communicate this expectation. — I don't like it, but they're being upfront and honest about their expectations, which is a green flag.

  • $150K – $260K would be a great salary for a remote Community Lead role, but this position is hybrid in Los Angeles or San Francisco, so I'm on the fence considering the cost of living in these areas. And that's assuming it actually is hybrid, and not one of those 4-days-in-the-office, 1-day-at-home deals.

  • I'm going to put this in Eh, It's Probably Fine, with the caveat that I think candidates should 1) make sure it really is hybrid and 2) try to push for the high side of this range during the interview process.

Tread Carefully

Didn’t quite hit bingo, but there were several yellow flags or more than one red flag.

• Lead Technical Support Engineer (No comp given) at Conduktor (Hybrid UK-London)

  • No real Careers page, just a lackluster About Us page.

  • Honestly, this job description is pretty forgettable. It's not terrible, but it's not good either; candidates get very little information about the structure of the team they'd be leading, and the only hint at culture we get is a single bullet about the office being pet-friendly.

  • Since we don't get salary info (and they ask for expectations in the application), this goes directly to Tread Carefully.

  • Note: Other jobs are open at this company, such as a Technical Support Engineer and a Customer Success Engineer.

• Customer-Facing Project Manager ("Competitive" comp not given) at Gable (Hybrid US-Seattle, WA)

  • Their Careers page is a very basic and light on useful information.

  • I will admit, I'm not super clear on what Gable's product is if they need a customer project manager on staff, but the title grabbed me during my search, and it actually sounds like a neat role.

  • The biggest problems are 1) they fall into the "it's a benefit to work here!" trap, and 2) they claim a competitive compensation package without actually sharing what the comp is. The latter, of course, means that this is a Tread Carefully job.

BINGO

Welp.

• Director of Technical Solutions (No comp given) at Cresta (Remote US)

  • Some of their values are interesting – perfectly fine in the right hands, dangerous in the wrong hands. Specifically, these two:

    • Do Too Much - We believe that extraordinary achievements require extraordinary effort, talent, and dedication in addition to a great team and strong vision. We embrace hard work and go above and beyond, knowing that doing "too much" may be exactly what it takes to succeed.

    • Have the Courage to Be Disliked - We embrace the discomfort of truth over the comfort of approval. We challenge the status quo, voice uncomfortable truths, and make tough decisions, knowing that avoiding conflict for the sake of popularity leads to stagnation and mediocrity. This doesn’t give us the right to be jerks to one another, but encourages us to use our voice for the betterment of the business.

  • Mission - We believe in the power of AI as an enabling tool to democratize expertise. — This is something you really need to define because "democratize expertise" sure sounds like "steal labor so that I don't have to pay people a fair wage," doesn't it?

  • A+ Team - Our team consists of a majority of ex-Founders, world leading scientists and nationally competitive athletes. — Okay? If you care about "democratizing expertise," why would any of that be something you're impressed by?

  • I'd like to point out that the Why We Work Here section contains no actual information about the tangible benefits of working at Cresta (such as health insurance, time off, compensation package, etc.). I smell bullshit!

  • Cresta's co-founder and chairman is Sebastian Thrun, the genius behind — So humble. (And also very funny – we must appreciate this one dude's "genius" while assuming everyone else must be okay with "democratizing expertise." Cool.)

  • Our leadership also includes CEO, Ping Wu, the co-founder of Google Contact Center AI — Because Google is known for its excellent customer service?

  • Cresta is on a mission to turn every customer conversation into a competitive advantage by unlocking the true potential of the contact center. [...] Our valued customers include brands like Intuit, Cox Communications, Hilton, and Carmax — ...because companies like Intuit and Cox are known for their excellent customer service?

  • Join us on this thrilling journey to revolutionize the workforce with AI. — No thanks, I'm good.

  • This role requires a visionary leader — This job description is exhausting.

  • Compensation for this position includes a base salary, equity, and a variety of benefits. — Gee, what incredibly useful information about salary. I'm overcome by their transparency.

  • Actual base salaries will be based on candidate-specific factors, including experience, skillset, and location, and local minimum pay requirements as applicable. — HA. Now there's some useful info – "we'll probably just pay you the minimum required by local law."

  • I'm putting this in BINGO purely for how insufferable this company sounds.

  • Note: There are a few other CX roles open at this company, including some Customer Success roles and an Implementation Manager.

Seriously, Maybe Don’t

Don't say I didn't warn you.

• See below. I’m sorry.

Possibly Psychotic

A truly special category.

• Customer Onboarding Specialist (I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY KNOW) at JobNimbus (Onsite US-Lehi, UT)

  • Prominently displays Glassdoor reviews at the top of their Careers page but doesn't link to their Glassdoor profile. Which of course means I have to go look! I was only going to post the five most recent reviews, but uh:

    • Great Mission, But Leadership Issues Are Holding It Back (2 stars)

    • Could be SO GOOD...But Continues to get WORSE! (2 stars)

    • Great from the outside but a little different on the inside... (2 stars)

    • Wild Ride - Truly one of the more bizarre organizations I've worked at in my career. (1 star)

    • Great Potential, But If You’re Not One of Them, Good Luck (1 star)

    • Don't Do it (1 star)

    • Leadership Lacks Awareness, Fosters Unwelcoming Culture for Women (1 star)

    • So...not great, Bob.

  • RESPECT coaching - Google found coaching to be the most important factor in employee satisfaction. Everyone gets RESPECT coaching here. — What...is that? I'm almost afraid of the answer.

  • Onsite dental, vision, stretching Feeling tight? Need a teeth cleaning? Everything blurry? Get help during your workday. — That's wild. I mean, could be fine. Could be an actual living nightmare.

  • This is in the Optional Perks section and y'all, I CANNOT:

    • Off-Roading Trips Join our CEO Ben Hodson and others to traverse hairy trails and barely make it back with your life.

    • What the fuck. Who actually jokes about this in a work setting? WHAT A VERY CONCERNING RED FLAG THAT IS.

  • Okay, let's look at a job, I guess?

  • We are obsessed with the hero's journey at JobNimbus. Every person has a hero's journey. Hermione Granger, James T. Kirk, Frodo Baggins, Anna & Elsa, Nacho Libre, and even YOU! — Wow...what an exciting list of white people that is. (Also, I know they're trying to joke with that last one, which just makes it all the more cringey.)

  • This is our “call to adventure” to come check out JobNimbus. What do you have to lose? You might make a few new friends, learn about a sick new company doing some amazing things, and maybe you’ll even land a new job! — Did an intern write this? Because it sounds like an intern wrote this.

  • The onboarding Specialist — How much y'all wanna bet that we get a "detail-oriented" requirement?

  • The onboarding specialist — Now let's bet on how many different capitalizations we'll get for this job title.

  • When sales gets a deal over the finish line it is up to the Onboarding Specialist to go to work! — Three.

  • You’ll take our customers through a baller implementation process — Oh my god, are you serious right now?

  • After you’ve onboarded a customer the CSM’s you assign the customer to, will be like, “Aw Dip, it seems like they were onboarded by someone with the skills of Leslie Knope. They know EVERYTHING about JobNimbus.” They will then come up with a secret new handshake whenever they see you… and everyone will be jealous. — What is happening. WHO WROTE THIS.

  • I am genuinely shocked that there is no "detail-oriented" statement in here. However, we do get...whatever the fuck this is:

    • Team Commitment. You know that moment in the Hunger Games where Katnis Everdeen shoots President Coin instead of President Snow and everyone’s head explodes? That is because she knew what was best for Panem and she was so committed she made the larger, harder decision. That is the level of commitment we need. Minus the killing of course!

    • Of course! BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE CRAZY, UNLIKE THIS?

  • Y'all, I've said what the actual fuck so many times with this JD it's lost all meaning. I don't even know what to say, except that I don't think our existing ratings quite cover this one, so I had to create a special one: Possibly Psychotic.